The Many Misadventures of Marik and Bakura
by EternallyShizzal
Summary: With the yamis back from the grave, and nothing to do, what will this duo of daft duelists set out to accomplish in their infinite free time?
1. Birthday Party Crashers

___This is the first in a series of slightly connected thiefshipping drabbles. I apologize for the abuse of dots and italics. This one is inspired and co-written by my brother._

Warning: Yaoi, Shonen-ai, boy love, smut, mention of children's card games, and a very frustrated Mokuba.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, or Yugioh Abridged. They and the characters belong to their respective owners.

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"This is the last bloody time I ever let you dress me up for something, Marik." "Oh, shut up fluffy...you know it makes us look sex-ay!" The blonde smirked as he straightened his tie. "But my hair..." The silver-haired fiend gave a sour pout. Marik looked him over, ignoring his indignant expression "Nothing's wrong with it, Bakura, stop whining." Bakura sighed, heavily, in irritation, "Remind me why we're going to that Kaiba-brat's birthday gala again… I mean, are we even invited?" Marik shrugged, "For something to do, other than sitting around being incredibly bored." He moved his fingers to Bakura's tie and straightened it, locking his lavender orbs upon his dark crimsons with a small chuckle, "And no, we're not!" He chuckled lightly, anticipation and a dare-devil thrill apparent in his features that Bakura found undeniably sexy. Said albino blushed lightly, rolling his eyes, "Quit fussing over me, just like a mum..." He swatted his hand away lightly, "Come on lets go steal the presents. " Marik laughed as his hand was swatted away." Your tie was crooked and fussing over you? Nah, only if you'd want me to. Now, onward! To steal presents and re-arrange his sock drawers!" Bakura set his face to a bored expression," It will be a birthday party he'll never forget..."

"I should have sooooo ordered a cake Bakura. A BIG cake! And we could have been like strippers, you know, jumping out and everything. Only, instead of being naked, we would have have worn sex-ay thongs and sing while dancing sex-ily to Lady Gaga songs..."He cackled, knowing this would annoy Bakura, even though he did think it sounded like an interesting concept. Bakura stopped abruptly and spun around, grabbing Marik's shoulders before shouting, "WHY DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT ON MY BIRTHDAY?!" His expression was furious and yet sad, like a wet kitten. The blonde Egyptian blinked at the suddenness of being grabbed and blushed darkly before replying, "WELL FRIG! BECAUSE EVERY TIME I DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT...YOU'RE LIKE "DON'T BLOODY DO THAT" SO I FRIGGIN' DON'T!" Bakura blinked and shook his head in exasperation, silvery tendrils flowing back and forth, "Marik haven't you learned yet that when I say NOT to do something of a sexual nature, it actually means fuck my brains out?!" He sighed and stomped out the door. "I'M DRIVING!" Marik huffed, standing there blinking and crossing his arms before watching him walk out the door and following, "QUIT FRIGGIN' BEING DIFFICULT, FLUFFY!" "Kiss my pasty Egyptian ass, Marik." He stepped in to his car, a vivacious black sporty thing that he'd acquired from one of Kaiba's garages, and slammed the door. His partner rolled his eyes and climbed in the passenger seat, slamming the door and crossing his arms after buckling in. "You'd love that." Bakura mumbled bitterly before flooring it. "What?!," Marik turned to look at his lover," What did you just mumble?" His lilac orbs narrowed. "Nothing, Marik, turn on the radio." "Oh fine…" He growled under his breath before turning the radio on and turning it up loud. When he couldn't get a rise out of his boyfriend he shook his head and gazed out the window at the passing scene. Cars, people, trees, they all whizzed by in a blur, and he couldn't help comparing that scene to the crazy whirlwind blur that was his relationship with the thief in the driver's seat. Then when a song came on that he recognized, he sang along softly to it, even though it was loud and he was barely heard. Bakura glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and turned down the radio enough to hear him and smirked. Oh how he loved hearing the noises that came from that pretty throat. His voice was beautiful. Marik was so busy singing along that he failed to notice that the radio had been turned down and kept on singing whilst looking out the window, and Bakura smiled and shook his head as they pulled up to Kaiba's mansion.

Bakura chuckled as Marik realized he'd been listening, and hopped out, opening Marik's door for him in an uncharacteristic show of chivalry. He blinked before climbing out and smirked at his lover, "Thanks, fluffy." Then straightened his tie again, snatching a kiss on his lips and breaking away quickly with a smirk. Bakura smirked back and shot him a lustfully promising glance before starting toward the door. Marik merely raised a brow at his glance before following. "You have the rod right?" Came Bakura's unintentionally seductive purr. Marik's mind was elsewhere as usual when the question was asked and he replied, as such, "Yeah, in my pants," Of course he was referring to the loop in the back of his pants, but it was easily misinterpreted. Bakura blushed slightly, eye twitching, "Marik!" "Huh?! What?" He shook his head and looked at him, then blushed profusely as everything clicked into place within his mind. "Uhhh, ignore me! Yes, I have it!" "Alright get us through their bloody guards." Marik nodded and drew out the Millennium Rod, taking control of their minds and allowing them to pass through the mansion doors before putting the golden artifact away again. The silver-haired thief smirked, musing to himself about his lover's abilities with phallic objects, wrapping an arm around Marik's waist as they entered through the grand doors of the estate, " Let's crash this party, shall we?"

Bakura led Marik in to the ballroom which was already full of socialites and high-society children. It struck Bakura as odd that Mokuba even had friends, after all he was usually being his brother's shadow. He leaned in to his lover's tanned ear and whispered, "Go have a little fun while I spike the punch, Minx." He chuckled, snatching a kiss off Bakura's cheek before going out to the dance floor and dancing in such a way that everyone was watching him with either admiration or lust in their eyes. Bakura bit back a growl, muttering, "I'm going to enjoy massacring this party..." He made his way over to the punch bowl and easily slipped in some vodka, before moving away in to the crowd, trying to pin down his jealousy.

Getting a little warm while dancing, Marik undid his tie and opened his shirt slightly. This only served in him being hounded by several males and females trying to get close to him dancing. "Frig sakes! Back the frig off, bitches!" The blonde was used to this; after all he WAS a self-proclaimed sex-symbol. Didn't mean it didn't grate on his nerves. Bakura spotted his lover being marauded by shameless spectators, and pushed through the crowd, throwing the fiends off his blonde bomb-shell boyfriend. "Gods, dammit, Marik I told you to have fun, not give them a free show! Keep your clothes on." He blinks and smirks, rolling his eyes, "Jeez, you sound just like Ishizu! If it worries you, then dance with me, 'Kura!" He playfully pulled at his tie whilst swaying his hips, and for all the world Bakura wanted to give him what he wanted, but there was work to be done. "Not now, Marik." He rolled his eyes, brushing him away. "You stay put. I have work to do. Try not to be sexy." He sighed softly, and then snorted to hide his disappointment, "Oh yeah, like it's that easy for me NOT to be friggin' sex-ay!"

The king of thieves sighed, walking away and bumping in to the familiar leather-clad form of the Pharaoh. "Watch where you're- Oh bloody hell, what're you doing here you sorry excuse for a bondage slave?" His crimson orbs narrowed in malice. "Oh..it's you. And what pray tell are you doing at this event?" The ancient ruler of Khemet rolled his eyes at Bakura, "I didn't think Kaiba would invite you or your little effeminate looking partner." Bakura simply smirked and toyed with his bangs, "You obviously don't know how close Kaiba and I are. Speaking of little effeminate partners, where's the panda? Playing a children's card game with Mokuba?" He crossed his arms with a snort before smirking, "He's much too busy with his fans. You know, it kind of goes with the territory of being King of Games…" He eyed him suspiciously with his seemingly all-knowing gaze of hell-fire purple. "You, close to Kaiba? Bakura, you're lying. I don't even need my puzzle to see that." Ignoring his remark, Bakura continued to antagonize him. "So why are you here, Pharoah? Just to keep an eye on your precious aibou? He's a big boy now, isn't he?" Again Atem rolled his eyes and sighed before responding smugly, "Same thing could be said of yourself, Bakura… Are you here to make sure your little boy toy doesn't get himself in too much trouble? Or possibly making sure he doesn't trot off with one of his fans?" His eye twitched in response and his hands tightened in to fists at his side, "MY Marik isn't a little whore biscuit like Yugi is, Pharaoh, I suggest you remember that." He brushed past him, grabbing a glass of punch and wading in to a larger crowd to find someone, before calling back over his shoulder, "AND STRAIGHTEN YOUR BLOODY TIE, YOU LOOK LIKE A DOUCHE!" The pharaoh knew he'd gotten the best of Bakura and beamed heartily before responding, "At least he doesn't show off his body like a certain someone does... Who is the real whore, Bakura?!"He moved off into the crowd himself, snickering. Mind games were always his favorite to play with the former tomb robber. Why? Because he always won. Well… that was every game…

Marik was getting bored of just dancing and moved to the food table, looking over the assorted dishes before picking up a few sandwiches. They all looked so fancy he almost didn't want to eat them. In the end, however, his stomach won out over his artistic taste. Bakura slid back a few more drinks before he spotted an all too familiar star shaped hairdo. He grabbed Yugi by the shoulder in a mock-friendly gesture, "Why hello there, little game king." He grinned menacingly. Although compared to sweet little Yugi, anything looked down right satanic in nature. Yugi blinked and looked up at Bakura, stuttering slightly and struggling for politeness that normally came so fluently to him, "H-Hello to you to, Bakura... umm, what are you doing here?" The thief feigned interest on a spot of Yugi's shoulder, pretending to brush it off, "Oh you know, just keeping up appearances and what not. Can't let the public forget my face. Would you like a drink? How's your grandpa? Tea still a whore?" He shook his head at the sudden barrage of questions, lightly pulling away from Bakuras' grasp. "Uhhhh okay, sure, I'll have a drink. My grandpa is just fine, thanks for asking and well, I wouldn't know that about Tea, but, you can ask her yourself. She's over there, on the dance floor…" Bakura turned to look at the brunet making her way to Marik. "For the love of…" He sighed, handing the spiked punch to Yugi, "Anyway, have you noticed anything… strange about the Pharaoh lately?" Yugi took the punch and sipped it before shaking his tricolored head, "Um, no… why is something wrong?" *His already huge, heartbreakingly intense amaranth eyes widened with concern.

"Hey, Marik!" Tea called to him as she walked over to the table where he was. Marik near choked on the sandwich he was eating as he cringed upon hearing her voice and then turning around, his eye twitching and face jerking as he attempted a smile. "Hello Tea…" From head to toe, she was a harlot, decked out in the skimpiest outfit imaginable. It wasn't her outfit, though, that gave Marik the creeps. Oh no! In fact he owned something similar. It was just her rotten personality and sickening obsession with friendship. He gritted his teeth and prepared himself for a speech of ridiculous proportions.

"The way he talks about you... seems like he's… bored." Bakura smirked a bit, wrapping an arm around his miniscule companion in false comfort, "You poor thing." Yugi became nervous at this and stuttered a bit in his speech, "I… er…I haven't… um noticed that." He then drank a bit more of the punch, averting his gaze to find the nearest escape route, or even better, his yami.

Marik rolled his eyes as Tea was entertaining him with her speeches, his mind occasionally drifting towards grabbing his Millennium Rod and shoving it into her…He didn't though… the slut probably would have liked it… Marik cringed at the thought. The tomb keeper shook the thoughts from his mind, smiling falsely and nodding to whatever she said before excusing himself and wandering off to another part of the banquet table, as quickly as was conspicuously possibly.

Bakura leaned in to whisper false-seductively in to Yugi's ear, "Why don't we make him jealous?" He almost choked on his drink, pulling away and getting red in the face- which Bakura begrudgingly admitted was the cutest fucking thing he'd ever seen. "Exactly what are you suggesting, Bakura?" He thought to himself, 'He's playing right in to my hands, perfect…' Why, I'd be honored to have just a dance with the king of pan- I mean games. Shall we?" He bowed suavely, offering his hand to the smaller boy. Yugi felt a bit fuzzy from the drink, but, still held his guard up, never quite trusting Bakura, as well he shouldn't. "Just a dance? But, you said to make him jealous… what are you up to, Bakura?" "I want to piss off your lover, point blank, come on let's go." He pulled him out on the floor, nearly tripping him up. Before he had a chance to react, the heir of the puzzle found himself dancing with his former enemy, and his lover's ultimate rival, and flushed like a little girl. "H-he's not going to like this… and I don't approve either!"

Marik, meanwhile, had bumped into Joey and they had started conversing... which turned into a half argument, before both parted ways. Marik wandered out of the crowd and noticed his lover dancing with his enemy. He growled low in the back of his throat before turning away and going to grab a drink, sorely in need of one before his hormones became severely imbalanced.

"Well you're no Johnny Steps either, midget, my Marik is far superior, but it's just until the king of ridiculous hair notices." It wasn't long until the Pharaoh did make his way over with a look of boiling fury in his eyes. Tapping Bakura on the shoulder, he muttered, "Unhand my hikari, Bakura. I mean it. Go and find your little blond-haired mistress and leave Yugi alone before I invoke the wrath of the Gods in this very room." Unhindered, Bakura smirkedand twirled Yugi in to his yami's arms, "Have fun, mortals!" Satisfied, he turned, looking around for Marik, to tell him of his conquest.

Marik was on the dance floor and dancing with- of all people- Mai Valentine. She was about the only one he could find that could remotely dance well enough to keep up with him. He wasn't really enjoying himself, but, figured if Bakura was going to dance with Yugi, he'd dance with someone too. Petty jealously was a frivolous thing, but then again Marik did indulge in frivolity often. Bakura smiled, viewing the back of Marik's head, but the smile decayed as he saw the bimbo he was dancing with. He growled, narrowing his eyes. Marik was still disturbed at seeing his lover with Yugi, but, Marik didn't see Bakura looking for him either and smiled falsely as he danced with Mai. In the back of his mind he wished it was Bakura instead, but his pride kept him from going to find him again. Not to worry though. The ever-jealous lover snatched Mai back by her wavy blonde hair, "Sorry, hon' but there's no room for Driveshipping on this dance floor, hussy." She almost screamed out, but, choked it back considering where they were, "Was only dancing with him, hon', he's all yours." She snorted, fixing her hair as she walked off. Marik blinked before crossing his arms slightly, "Thought you were too busy for me." Bakura looked away, guilt rising in his chest. "Sorry, you know I can't resist fucking with the pharaoh's mind…" Marik smirked a bit before grabbing his hand and dancing with him, whispering low, "I know Bakura, but, it really bothered me… you know how I feel…" Of course he knew. Bakura knew about Marik's fears and insecurities more than anyone else, even his brother and sister. Yet he disregarded them so often. He sighed, pulling him closer as they swayed to the music, "Ya… I know…" "The thought of anyone… especially that munchkin… ugh… touching you in anyway…"Marik muttered lowly before being pulled closer, "… almost as bad as me wanting to stab that… thing… Tea." They both shuddered. "Ew. Shut up now." Bakura shook his head. A slow number came on and Marik pulled Bakura closer still, pressing their bodies together as they swayed. Blushing darkly, he leans in and whispers. "I know you want me to shut up, but, 'Kura… I've got an idea I just have to share! I think you'll approve entirely." His eyes were lidded wantonly, and that one glance showed Bakura he was in for it. "Hmm? And what pray tell would that be my delightful little minx?" He chuckled softly before leaning real close to his ear as his hot Egyptian breath danced over the shell in a whisper, "Let's satisfy our burning jealousy over each other in the master of ceremonies' personal bedroom." Bakura's eyes lit up and within seconds he was pulling Marik up the stairs.

The silver-haired thief strode purposefully down the hallway and threw open the largest door, dragging his lover behind him. Of course this was the personal bedroom and was adorned accordingly with many Blue Eyes decals and the linens in various hues of azure and cerulean. Marik blinked and shook his head, "Dragon fetish…" Bakura smirked, seizing his opportunity, "I can't say I blame him, after all I'm quite fond of your dragon…" He lay back on the huge canopied bed, striking a seductive pose. Marik snickered, moving like a cat and slinking up and over him before giving him a passionate kiss, tongues clashing, before breaking away to lay beside him. "Oh, and which dragon are you so fond of that I possess?" "Well it certainly isn't Ra." Bakura rolled on top of his sun-kissed lover, nudging his groin with his knee. The tanned boy blushed deeply, trailing his fingers along his sides before locking his lavender orbs upon Bakura's dark ones. Raising his knee slightly, he moves it across his groin. I'm rather fond of a certain dragon of yours as well." Bakura groaned, loosening his tie as if it was choking him as Marik's fingers reached out and brushed aside his suit jacket from his shoulder's, locking their lips together in a wanton abysmal kiss. The robber kissed back, ripping his shirt open and popping off the buttons, revealing gorgeous caramel skin. Marik pulled his shirt open with the same frenzy, popping the buttons to get at his pale flesh with his fingers. He emitted a lengthy moan as Bakura caressed his abs, and he pressed his groin up harshly against 'Kura's. The silverette growled seductively, rapidly undoing his belt and fly and pushing off his pants as if the silken fabric was made of scorpions. His lover followed suit, doing the same thing whilst keeping in mind where they were and that they were also pressed for time. Not breaking their kiss, he pushed away his pants, moaning softly as their flesh connected. Cream and cinnamon melded and twisted together in frantic need. The albino growled deeply once again, grinding their groins together. The blonde raked his fingers over his ass, drawing their groins together roughly before raking up his back and drawing ribbons of blood before digging sharply into his shoulders. Bakura muffled a masochistic shout of pleasure in to his lover's nibble-swollen lips. In Ancient Egyptian, he gave Bakura the signal of readiness, biting his lips heatedly and drawing a bit more blood. The thief smirked. Marik only spoke in that language when he was extremely needy. Without any real preparation, he groaned, entering him swiftly. "Mmmgh…" Marik let out a series of Egyptian curses into his partner's ever-pouty mouth, trying to keep their noises down since usually they were quite vocal. Bakura lapped and nibbled at his lips, thrusting deeply, thought lost on pleasure's divine altar. Marik half hooked his legs, groaning softly and clenching slightly to make it drive them both insane with need, as Bakura lifted his hips a bit to angle his thrusts. He relished in the gasp that he drew from his lover as he zeroed in on his sweet spot, thrusting relentlessly. Marik dug his fingers in even more to his shoulders and threw his head back, breaking their kiss and sending his mane of golden locks flying. He rolled his eyes, letting out a lengthy moan of pleasure as he arched his back. Bakura bit in to his shoulder to muffle a string of ecstatic curses, climaxing inside his lover with an almost-snarl. This pushed Marik over the edge as he also released, washing over their bellies and grabbing a pillow to bite into as he nearly screamed out his lover's name.

Once coherent enough, Marik smirked, pulling out and Bakura pulled the pillow away to kiss him softly and smooth his hair, he was often far more affectionate after a good romp. The tomb keeper returned his kiss with equal softness before snapping his eyes open to the sounds of movement out in the hallway from the bedroom they were in, "Fuck!" Bakura growled, quickly using shadow magic to redress the both of them and escape into the hallway. Marik sighed inwardly at this, quickly moving in front of Bakura and adjusting his tie, locking his eyes momentarily with a wink before kissing him. Two guards walked along the hallway and saw them, "Hey you two. Party is downstairs. Save your lovey-dovey stuff for the gutter you dragged yourselves out of." They stood near them and crossed their arms with glares hot enough to melt a glacier. Nonplussed, Bakura growled, pushing Marik away to glare at the guards, "Listen here you heathenish mortals, I suggest you keep your traps shut, if you want to keep them attached." Marik snickered at this, crossing his arms loosely across his chest. It wouldn't have taken him much to pull out the rod and control these fools, but, he'd much rather watch Bakura in action. The guards looked at Bakura before one snorted and made a motion to grab him, their intent to get these two downstairs or possibly to toss them out of the mansion. He grabbed his wrist and roughly yanked it backwards, smirking at the sick cracking noise it made as it snapped." My lover is not gutter trash." "If anything, Bakura, I'd say they friggin' are the gutter rats." Marik snickered, enjoying the sound of the snapping of bones. He noticed the other guard moving his hand toward the inner part of his jacket, most likely towards a gun and instantly grabbed his rod, pointing it at him as it glowed softly. "I don't friggin' think so..keep moving that friggin' hand and I'll throw you through that wall behind you!" "Come now, Marik, we don't want to be conspicuous. Have a wonderful trip to the shadows, gentleman." He chuckled darkly before allowing the shadows to consume them, their screams muffled by the dimensional current. Marik pouted slightly, and then put the Rod away as the men disappeared, "Well frig! I suppose you're right, but, spoil a little of my fun, huh? Ra Damn it!" He crossed his arms, huffing slightly. "Whatever…" Bakura shrugged, used to getting this from his lover. Marik rolled his eyes when he didn't get a reaction, shaking his head before walking slowly towards the stairs that lead down to the main ballroom. Deciding to be a bit spontaneous, Bakura jumped on the banister and slid down the rail, leaning in to the curves. Watching him do so, he laughed and followed suit, sliding down the opposite one, only when it came to an end, Bakura landed with a flourish… while he wound up tripping and smashing into a table and sending everything on it into the air. "Ohhhhh frigggg!" He facepalmed as he looked up from the floor at a disapproving albino. "MARIK!" He growled, "What did I say about being conspicuous?!" "Uhhh… too late! Move"! He motioned quickly to the foods and drinks flying through the air before scrambling under an adjoining table to avoid the mess. Bakura got cake to the face from the pharaoh and immediately tackled him into the table. Marik laughed to himself as he watched Tea get covered in the largest amount of foods and drinks, turning red and screaming about it. Then he heard the crash and looked over seeing Bakura tackling the Pharaoh. He moved from under the table just in time to see little Yugi trying to pull Bakura off the other and walked over yanking him away by the scruff, his jealously still hot from earlier. "Touch my Bakura again and you'll be very sorry…" Bakura was attempting to strangle the Pharaoh with his own puzzle, so he didn't register the fact that timid little Yugi Mutou had bitch slapped Marik, but regardless Bakura threw Atem into Yugi. Marik blinked with the slap, ready to slug him, and then cackled as the two bodies collided in a frenzy of legs and arms and leather before hitting the floor. Meanwhile the youngest Kaiba boy watched from his place on top of the stairs, growling, and then suddenly…

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

Hearing the youngest shout out, Marik and Bakura spun around to look where he stood on the stairs, crossing his arms loosely over his chest. He was dressed in a fancy little tuxedo, with coattails and everything. Bakura stood next to Marik, inquisitively, and his head snapped around as he heard a familiar clearing of a throat. His hikari stood behind them, hands on his hips, tapping his foot in annoyance. Bakura smiled at him wryly and shrugged his shoulders. His lover looked at the same time, and smirked with a very soft, almost inaudible whisper to Bakura in a mocking-like way, "Someone's innnn troubleee…" That was until he heard a growl from behind him, a low and very recognizable one. Turning slowly, he sweat-dropped seeing Melvin standing not so far away, arms crossed like he was the holy Pope of Rome in innocence. Bakura smirked in retributions, "You are tooo…" He wiped the cake off his face, licking the icing away from his lips before addressing the crowd with his silver-tongue. "Ladies and very effeminate gentleman, on behalf of myself and my partner in be- I mean crime- we wish the Kaiba brat happy birthday and many happy returns…" He smirked, plotting to get themselves out of trouble. He bowed formally to Mokuba, who was now next to Seto, and used his shadow magic to conjure three dancing blue eyes white dragons. The crowd was awed. Marik whispered over his shoulder to him, "I hope you know what the frig you're doing..."He swallowed slightly, watching Melvin cracking his knuckles, "Otherwise, we're both in serious shit…" He chuckled lowly. "Only I'm loving this!" Bakura wrapped his arm around Marik's waist and turned around while the crowd was mesmerized, pulling him in the direction of the gift table, patting Ryou's head as he passed. Marik followed him, draping an arm over Bakura's shoulder and telling the crazed yami that he'd be right back, though he knew they wouldn't. Bakura whispered, "I wonder how they got in... no matter... pick something pretty and let's get out of here." Marik whispered in response, "No idea… but… alright…" He swipes a fancy looking, gold chalice with rubies encrusted around the top while Bakura grabbed a stuffed pikachu, avoiding Marik's gaze as he slipped it under his jacket. Marik simply blinked and shook his head as they stole away in to the night, but not before sharing an adrenaline-induced kiss.

Marik ran with him, not hesitating to tear open the door to the car and jumping in, slamming it behind him and locking it as a few of the guards came dashing out of the building, hot on their tails. The legendary thief slid across the hood like a boss, before jumping in and flooring it. He didn't bother to buckle in, looking back at the people chasing the caras he maneuvered on to the highway. "'Kura...I vote for heading to Egypt for a little vacation… what d'ya say?" "Sounds lovely, we'll head straight home to pack, but I have a little stop to make first." "Sounds good 'Kura…" Marik continued to watch the rearview mirror until they were out of sight before turning music on low. Bakura drove to Ryou's house and pulled up to the flower-covered mailbox, winding down Marik's window and handing him the Pikachu. "Put this in there." The Egyptian blinked and smirked, taking the toy and stuffing it into the mailbox before rolling up the window. He wanted to say something, but, bit his tongue instead. Picking up on this, he sighed. "Perhaps that'll ease yadonushi's lecturing rage… He loves that yellow rat…" "Ahhhh, okay 'Kura…" He still bit his lip, wanting to say something more as he held back a snicker. Bakura raised a brow in irritated confusion, "For the love of buggery, what?!" "You seemed to really like that yellow rat as you called it." He bit his lip with a raised brow. "It was cute!" His partner blushed fiercely. "Well yes… I blame yadonushi…"The blonde reached out a hand, placing it over Bakura's on the stick shift, "It's adorable when you act all cute like that," He pouted, "I'm not cute, shut up." "You are… to me…"Marik kept his hand in place and looked away with a rosy hue on his bronzed cheek. Bakura's blush intensified, "Wh-whatever…" Smirking, Marik looked over at him, his lavender orbs studying his features for a few moments, "That's even more adorable."

Marik knew and adored the fact that only he could turn the infamous ancient thief king in to a pile of mush. Only he could make his face the color of his eyes, make him stutter like a child. Only Marik knew how sweet and cuddly Bakura could be. It made him feel privileged and empowered.

"Hush…" Bakura said as they pulled in to the driveway. "Make me," He simply dared him, moving his hand away with a raised brow. Then he moved back into his seat and smugly and said, "Or we can wait until we visit a certain oasis…" Bakura couldn't help laughing softly, for Marik looked just so damn awkward when he wiggled his brows like that. He smirked as a reply, and got out. Marik knew that the oasis in question held much more memories than any other place for Bakura, which is why he mentioned it since they were heading off to Egypt for a time. It was the place they first truly knew each other in this life, and the one before. Chuckling inwardly at memories that danced around his vision, he climbed out of the car and followed his lover into the house.

Bakura tossed away his keys, loosening his tie and throwing off his jacket around the house. Not wasting time, Marik automatically made his way to the bedroom, tossing his jacket off and yanking his tie free as he rummaged through their closet looking for his Egyptian attire and tossing some of the articles upon the bed. Leather was sexy and all, but not practical for North-Eastern African weather. Bakura made a beeline for the shower to rid his silver locks of blue icing. Sometimes Bakura felt he spent too much time on his hair, until he remembers that his lover's hair products take up all the cabinet space in the bathroom, and the fact that Marik got up at 5:30 every morning to use each product and put on his kohl. Afterwards he'd always wake Bakura up with a cup of tea and ask if he looked pretty. If the answer didn't please him, he'd lock himself back in the bathroom for another hour, leaving Bakura to the exile of the guest bath for morning duties.

Marik got all the items he needed and most of the things he knew Bakura would want, including his special daggers and tattered robe. Taking the items downstairs, he set them upon the table before going off to the bathroom. He listened to Bakura moving around in the shower and stripped down before slipping in and joining him. Picking up the shampoo, he squirted some in his hands before leaning forward and working it into Bakuras' hair. "Hey there, care for some assistance?" Bakura smiled and relaxed, "Go right ahead, that cake is stubborn." The keeper gently worked the shampoo into a thick lather as his fingers massaged his scalp. "I have everything ready to go. Your things and mine, it's all on the table… and yes… I packed light for travel." He rolled his eyes, aiming to avoid Bakura's usual lecture about proper travel guidelines. He smirked at Marik, lathering up a cloth and washed his soft glowing face tenderly, making sure all the kohl was washed away.

Marik wore his kohl nearly 24-7, and only took it off when Bakura reprimanded him about it. The lines of black were a part of his heritage, true, and looked quite pleasing to the eye, truer still, however Bakura loved seeing Marik without. It made him look softer, purer, like an untainted gem. It was Marik without his heritage and legacy, without worry, without trying. This effortless Marik, the one who didn't try to impress people, who didn't doll himself up to cover up his past and insecurities, this was the Marik he loved most. Though, of course, when asked he'd say he loved Marik because of the kinky sex in random places… That was just Bakura.

Marik tilted Bakura's head back slightly, covering his eyes for a moment to allow the water to rinse out the soap before letting him clean more away from his torso. He washed him slowly, leaning in to his lean, muscular frame to wash his back, careful of the intricate scarring of his back. Marik smirked, pressing back against him and now working conditioner into 'Kuras' hair, with a whisper, "I thought you wanted to wait for the oasis?" He closed his eyes, feeling the familiar tug of arousal at his stomach, "I do…" "Kind of makes it… hard… when being this… close, hm?" He chuckled, pulling Bakura's head forward slightly to work the lather through the back of his hair and pressing his body tightly against 'Kura to do so. Oh yes, Marik Sebastian Ishtar was going to be the bloody death of him, yet. He opened one eye and stared up at him, "Your insatiable, you accursed incubus." "And you're not?" Marik laughed and pulled his head up gently, rinsing away the conditioner. Bakura purred, comfortable and a bit sleepy from the calming sensation of his love's fingers. Marik saw this and decided to pull a trick, risking the other wanting to kill him. He leaned into 'Kura… backing him up just enough that he can reach the faucets, but, made it look as if he was pinning him to the wall as he delivers a passionate kiss. Seconds later, he turns off the hot water with the flick of his wrist, leaving the water to turn ice cold. The poor limey jolted and started shaking, eyes flashing in contempt. "MAAAARIIIIIIIIK YOU WANKER!" "Are you awake yet?" The offender cackled, backing away a bit and almost slipping in the tub. Bakura caught him and turned off the water with his foot. "Yes… quite," he said sourly. Marik struggled a bit almost slipping again, trying to look innocent, but Bakura wasn't having any of it. Marik was about as innocent as a baby scorpion. He growled and grabbed a towel, throwing one at Marik. "Oh pshhh…" He snorted at his growling, not intimidated, "You're sooooo scary." "I know." He rolled his eyes, snapping his towel against Marik's bum as if to prove the point. "Hurry up; I want to get to Egypt before I have time to recognize jet lag." He dressed hastily. Marik squealed out at the pinch and sting, not expecting it, and then rubbed the spot with a light growl as he got dressed as well, "That friggin' hurt! Next time…" he walked past him and paused, "…strike harder." With a chuckle he walked out and through the hallway to the kitchen to check over the items one more time. The thief lifted a brow before smirking and following him. Marik was a truly unique creature.


	2. We Took his Leather All of It

_Ugh this is horrible. I'll do better, I promise. It had so much potential… But read it, regardless._

_As per usual, I own nothing. _

* * *

It was amazing how one could be completely disgusted and yet completely infatuated with something, Bakura mused to himself in the cracked full-length mirror of the bedroom. He was decked head to toe in he's recently acquired clothing, which consisted of pretty much everything the Pharaoh wore on a daily basis. In fact it was exactly what the Pharaoh wore on a daily basis. He smirked at his lover's expression in the mirror. "I do it _better." _The blonde nodded furiously, practically drooling, "Oh yes, you look quite sex-ay!" Bakura strutted over to the bed like a jack ass and posed, "In retrospect I probably should have washed these first…" Marik raised a brow and facepalmed. "And you say _I'm_keen on getting into the Pharaoh's pants…" The thief crossed his arms loosely, squatting as much as possible a few times. "I still don't know how he wears these all the time. They are bound to chaff." Marik chuckled. "_Well_…if that happens, there's ways to take care of that too, you know." "Chaff cream, yes I know." He was far too distracted by his attire to have noticed the innuendo, as if he was a little boy with a new toy, or a sizable adult with a new pack of children's trading card. The white-haired former-spirit ran around, making the uniform jacket-cape flap around. Marik bit his lips to stifle his laughter at his boyfriend's out-of-character antics, "I wasn't talking about _that_. Keep doing that and Mr. Tweetums might see you as his next date." Bakura stopped abruptly and his eye twitched, "If that feather brain even _thinks_ about roosting me I'll eat _HIM_ on_ OUR_ next date!" "NAOO! He's only a bird, he doesn't know any better and he has friggin' needs too you know!" His lilac eyes widened, and he looked around for his little bird companion, calling out what was supposed to be soothing words, "He didn't mean it!…FRIG! You scared him 'Kura! What do you have to say for yourself?!" The thief pinched the bridge of his nose. "Even when not around, the Pharaoh causes me trouble. Bloody clothes. I swear to Ra if I sleep on the couch tonight…"

Marik found the accursed bird and took him to his special room (Bakura told him countless times that it was called and aviary, but Marik insisted that Aviary was a pokemon only found in the Univa region) and turned, just barely catching what Bakura said, "Uhhhh, no… you won't have to spend the night on the couch…" He immediately turned a rosy shade in the face. "Well good." Bakura stuck his nose in the air, staring down the bridge of it at Marik like a scolding nun. The tanned male pouted for a minute before an idea struck him. He smirked, losing the blush before moving into the kitchen and preparing some tea. Tea always won over Bakura. Well tea and a good romp and the occasion homicide.

The tea did eventually soothe the beast within Bakura, and the Pharaoh's leather eventually won over Marik. When done playing dress-up, they mailed the still unwashed leather items back to the game shop. Upon discovering the contents of the mysterious package, Yugi and Yami shared a horrified look and days later it turned up on the Bakura-Ishtar doorstep again with a note.  
_  
"Keep them; they really do look rather good on you…"_


	3. A Study in Lavender

_I'm sorry this is so long overdue, and so very very short but... it's something right?_

* * *

Bakura sat in front of the telly, sideways in his chair. He sipped his tea, even though it was dead-cold, and proceeded to ignore his fidgeting partner. Marik sat with his back against the chair, on the carpet. They were re-watching episodes of Sherlock and he was knit-picking at all the gay parts, much to Bakura's bemusement.

"You know Bakura, this Halloween we should dress up in Sherlock and Watson cosplay. I'd be Sherlock of course. And you'd be John. Because you are short!" He tilted his head back, but frowned as he noticed Bakura struggling not to crack up.

"Pffftt, you? You a deductive mastermind? I think I'm far better suited to playing the role of the consulting detective. Honestly... You're so daft sometimes, Marik." He smirked.

The Egyptian's blood boiled in his veins and he silently stood and walked to the door. He paused there and turned back to the telly before casting a rueful glance at the albino who undoubtedly would be sleeping where he now lay, tonight. "You know what, Bakura? You're right you _**are **_much better suited to play Sherlock. After all, you both don't have any friends, and neither of you are getting laid anytime soon because you're both such GIGANTIC PRICKS! Deduce my ass, Mr. Holmes."

He slammed and locked the bedroom door.

Bakura just blinked and sipped his tea, before grimacing.

"Oh, my tea's gone cold..."


End file.
